Thoughts on Comparison

One of the 5 things that Pahla B. emphasizes in her Five-Oh! method is mindset.  She encourages us to think about our thoughts and label them as helpful or not helpful.  Many times my inner mean girl leads me down the path of comparison with other people.  That path does not end well for me and 99.99% of the time is not helpful at all!  

Recently I've been working really hard not comparing my fitness with my husband's.  He is at his goal weight (mostly) and walks anywhere from 3-6+ hours a day.  He tries to get in about 100 miles a week!  I have to continually tell myself that to walk that much is his choice and I don't have to make the same choice.  For one thing I don't think my body would be too happy with me and for a second I would not enjoy it.  I'm a true believer that you don't know what tomorrow may bring so make sure you are enjoying each day you have.  I am also having to continually remind myself that someone else's journey is not my journey.  I have my own journey and all I can do is walk my own road.  I can certainly be inspired by other journeys but beating myself up because I'm not as good, thin, fit, successful, creative, (enter any other destructive word here), as someone else does not get me closer to where I want to be.  Instead I need to look at what my goals are (not someone else's goals for me) and determine what I am willing to do to achieve them.  To that end here are some of the goals that are floating around in my head - some are health related and others are just bucket list type items but either way they contribute to my overall well-being.

• Reach a healthy weight that makes me feel good about myself and allows me to do all the things I want to do
• 20 minutes of moderate exercise each day
• Eat healthy 80% of the time - allow the treats and don't be ashamed of them!
• 7-8 hours of sleep each night

• Create a daily routine in retirement that allows me time to be creative while still maintaining my home and relationships
• Bible journaling/study
• Home maintenance/blessing
• Exercise
• Spending time with people who matter
• Fun outings with my husband - biking, hiking, museum crawling, etc.
• Reading for pleasure
• Creative endeavors

• Work through my worries in a healthy way
• Reality check the situation
• Plan for worst case scenario
• Prayer - let go and let God!

• YouTube
• Film what I enjoy - encourage others
• Don't let channel become yet another comparison vehicle
• Stop worrying about the numbers

• Find ways to bless others through my time and talents
• Project Linus
• Dress-a-Girl
• Operation Christmas Child
• DAR projects
• CTMH
• Cards for Soldiers
• Sponsored kids
• Handmade gifts for friends and family

I'm sure I will add to this list and at times take things away but I think this was a good exercise in looking at what I really want and not comparing myself to others and trying to achieve their dreams instead of my own.

Catching Up!

I just looked back and it's been a while since I last posted!!  Wow!!  I've been on Profile all this time and I've been very successful but am losing steam with the intense difficulty that is involved with this program.  As of last Friday's weigh-in I have lost 45# and have 39.2# to go - over half way there!!  Woohoo!!!  The problem that is now happening is that we have been loosening up our weekends for some treats and that has led to small losses and several maintenance weeks.  That's great for my hubby who reached his goal last week (over 100# lost!!) but I still have some road to walk.  I know that Profile is amazing and works when nothing else really has but I also know it's just not sustainable for much longer for me.  Profile cuts calories quite dramatically and involves the use of their shakes and bars.  We paid for a year of coaching (and it was not cheap!!) and the bars and shakes end up costing about $110 a week each.  I am retiring at the end of September so our income will be going down a bit so we are looking at ways to cut some costs.  I know my health is important but I also know my mental health needs a break from the intensity of Profile.  My mental health will also benefit from being able to cut our food costs a bit so we can take more vacations!!

So...in comes Trim Healthy Mama.  I've been hearing about this lifestyle (not a diet) for quite a while and have been slowly learning the plan.  I picked up the book for my Kindle (reading it again for the 2nd time now) and then found the first cookbook at our used book store.  I've joined several THM FB groups and am reading and just soaking it all in.  I've started incorporating THM concepts into our Profile journey (trimmy coffee and Wasa crackers for the win!!) and plan to transition completely to THM mid-October when our coaching runs out.  It will be really hard to let our coach know we are not going to be meeting with her anymore but it's just not financially nor mentally sustainable any longer.  Do I recommend Profile?  Absolutely, 100% YES!  It is a program that will really get you working toward learning about nutrition and give you the kickstart you need to get healthier.  It's helped me get to a weight I have not seen in over 9 years.  Getting to that weight has reduced the pressure on my joints and allowed me to engage in more activity.  I've been going on 5 mile walks 1-2 times a week, doing yoga nearly every day, riding our exercise bike consistently for the last year, and now I'm incorporating weights along with some cardio exercise through Pahla B's YouTube channel.  Overall I feel amazing and I've had to downsize my clothing as well.  I know I have more to lose but I'm ok losing it a bit slower and being kind to myself as I walk down this health path.

While THM doesn't push you to have a calorie limit I know myself and know that I will very easily overdo even healthy food.  Pahla B has a program designed for women over 50 so I'm using that to guide myself on healthy limits.  She recommended some calorie calculators and said to calculate using these five and then get the average.  I did that today and my calorie goal is 1,870 calories a day.  I think on Profile I'm set around 1,100.  I'm going to start using a food tracker to see what sort of calorie intake I have going on now (TBH I've been adding in a few things non-Profile so I know I'm over the 1,100 but don't think I'm that close to the 1,870 (on regular days) but we shall see the truth when I start actually tracking each bite).  

I'd really like to find a way of eating that is intuitive and doesn't ban certain foods.  I want to move toward seeing food primarily as a fuel source for what I want to do but then also allowing some meals/treats to be special.  I can't deny that food is one of the joys in my life and I truly believe God put food on this earth for enjoyment as well as sustenance.  I just need to work on that balance!

Week One on Profile

Well...week one is in the books!  We had our 2nd coaching session on Thursday so we did our official weigh-in on that morning.  I am down 6.4#!!  However, over the last two days I have gained 1.5# and I'm not sure why that happened.  I have been following our plan of four shakes, one bar, 3-5 oz of protein, 3 fats, and 4-12 veggies each day.  I haven't gone over my allotted flex foods either.  If I have another gain tomorrow, I am going to message my coach to see what she recommends.  

For the most part I've been doing ok with the plan.  The first few days were rough and I've really been missing my morning coffee.  I normally drink decaf so it wasn't a caffeine thing but I've come to realize it's the ritual and mouthfeel of the coffee sweetened with stevia and the richness of the cream mixed in that I am missing.  I also felt sort of icky while the gluten and other crap I ate the week before starting Profile was working it's way out of my body.  I felt sort of lightheaded and off mostly in the evenings.  I did find that a shot of pickle juice helped and the last four days or so have been void of those feelings.  I've also been feeling a little deprived but maybe if I would have felt that more often in the past I wouldn't be sitting here looking at needing to lose 80+ pounds!!

Oh...before I forget!  The body scan!!  Holy cow!!!  Seeing that scan was pretty eye-opening and truthfully a little bit disturbing.  I'm glad I had it done and I'm looking forward to being able to compare them as I go.  We will have another one at the six week mark.  That is also when they will do the DNA test.  

We met with Erin this week and she was really nice.  When we first got on the zoom call I was a little worried because she was way too cheery.  But...she calmed down and we had a good conversation.  We meet with her again next week so I'll be curious to see if she starts out the same way or if it was just the nervousness of meeting someone new.  

We will do the same plan this week and then starting in week three we will move to three shakes and two bars.  I'll be glad for that because I like the bars much more than the shakes.  I think it's because I can chew them and they seem to satisfy that urge I seem to have to eat things rather than drink them.  Speaking of drinking...wine is not on this diet!!  I am missing my glass of wine at night that I used to have several times a week but I just need to remember that it's not forever.  I might even splurge and have a few ounces on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Updates and New Directions

Wow!  I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted.  First - yoga - I was doing so well until we went to CO in April.  After that I never really got back into it but I have to admit I do miss parts of it and I'm feeling a pull to get back into it.  I found the January Yoga with Adrienne so inspiring and didn't feel that magic with the other plans she puts out.  I think maybe it will be a good idea to just go back and do January again - it's all on her YT channel so there's no reason I couldn't do it again.  I was also doing really well with riding the exercise bike in the morning until work got extremely overwhelming over the last couple months.  I needed that time in the morning to be able to concentrate on getting things done before everyone else got started and blew up my email and the meetings started.  I need to take that time back and hopefully there's a light at the end of that tunnel.  Another supervisor is starting in a couple weeks and I need to put my foot down that I cannot continue to do all this work covering for vacancies.  The other branches have brought in acting supervisors when they've had vacancies - we need to do the same.

But...the real reason I wanted (needed) to come write is because we are getting ready to start on something I've never done before.  We are joining Profile by Sanford.  I've never done a diet plan that included one-on-one coaching and meal plans that were customized to me.  I've done lots of diets but they were all ones that were geared toward the masses and you followed the plan based on your height and weight.  Profile appears to start like that but then you meet with your coach weekly and if you aren't getting the results, they change things up.  There are also a lot of technology based pieces as well.  While I expect we will do the majority of our coaching sessions through zoom, I would like to go into the center to have the full body scan done.  I like the idea of getting my measurements taken by a machine that will take them accurately.  I've always had a difficult time with making sure the measuring tape was in the same place each time I took my own measurements and I'm sure I wasn't always using the same tension so the results weren't very trustworthy.  They also have this DNA test they do that will look at how you process carbohydrates to customize your food levels to how your body naturally works.  There are also two apps and a private FB group.  

We met with one of the coaches last night, Alyx, and she was really nice.  She did some calculations and estimates that I would be able to get to my goal of 165 by July.  I really thought it would take longer.  I was surprised to see that over the last five years my weight has swung 55#!!  I'm ready to stop that swing and get to a healthy weight.  I want to be able to do things without getting worn out and hating every minute of it.  

I do have to admit the cost is weighing a bit heavily but I need to see it as an investment in me.  I retire exactly one year from today.  It would be so awesome to enter into retirement healthier than I've been in decades.  We are also expecting our first grandchild in April and I want to live to see them grow and possibly start a family of their own too.  Isn't the $1,224 for a year of coaching worth all of that?!?  Adding my husband on to the plan is an additional $699 so really if you do the math, it comes out to under $1,000 each.  We used to spend almost that much on Starbucks each year.  We will also need to purchase special shakes, bars, and other food items in the beginning stages but will eventually move to all grocery store food.  That cost is estimated at about $110 each per week.  But...that really isn't too much more than we have been spending so I don't see that cost as really that outrageous.  

I'm pretty excited that my husband is joining with me.  The stress of trying to figure out what he should be eating so he can meet his goals has been way too much for me.  I know it's not my fault but when he would not have a successful week eating exactly what I put in front of him, I would feel absolutely awful.  I don't like feeling that way.  I don't always like being the person who is in charge of our food and not feeling like I was successful at it made it an even worse chore than I already feel like it is.  Sometimes I just wish someone would take care of all this stuff and just call me when it was time to eat.  Eh...let's be truthful, there's no sometimes about it - I always wish this!!  LOL!  

Anyway...my aunt will be here visiting for a couple days next week so we plan to start the program after she leaves.  That will give us time to get our food and other supplies picked up from the center and I hope to be able to go over there to get the body scan done before we start.  I'd really like a strong starting point.  I really want this to work so I want to do it properly right out of the gate.  I am also taking leave the following week so that will give me a chance to get started on everything without the added stress of work.  We did a trial of this program last month so I know a little bit of what it entails so I know that being able to concentrate on the program for that first week will be a huge stress reliever!

So...off we go!!!

Progress

I just completed day 21 of the 30 day yoga challenge and it's going great!  I still hate downward facing dog and can't lift my legs or pretzel up like Adriene can but I'm getting so much stronger.  I actually surprised myself today when I was able to get up from a crouch using just my legs.  I cannot remember the last time I was able to do that!!  In some ways it seems silly and sad that something like that would excite me but I'm choosing to let that go and embrace how proud of myself I am.  I am praying that once this 30 day challenge is over I don't let laziness take over.  I want to continue to do a daily practice.  It's hard while I'm doing it but I feel so good after.  I'm noticing that even the shorter practices (15-20) minutes leave me feeling energized and strong.

We also got an exercise bike and some VR games that link up with it.  I've tried a few and they are fun and challenging.  I'm having a problem with the seat though.  The hubby ordered another seat to try from Amazon and it should be here on Sunday.  I've tried pushing through the pain but I just can't.  He's also had some saddle sores so maybe this new seat will fix both our problems.  He found some neat apps on the iPad that allow you to bike through different areas of the world.  Some of them even link up with the bike and you control the speed with your pedaling.  Technology is amazing!!

I'm feeling better every day although I still have quite a bit of hip and back pain especially in the morning.  I've started taking some Tylenol at night when I go to bed and that seems to help me get a better nights sleep.  My hips will tend to wake me up and the Tylenol is curbing that pain.  I don't really like taking it but if it gets me past this point to where I am strong and fit enough that the pain subsides on it's own, I'm willing to do that.

I'm also doing very well on eating within my macros and while this week wasn't as successful on the scale as I'd hoped, I'm still down 6# since January 1st and almost 12# since I started counting macros in November.  But more than that I just feel better and stronger.  I know that everything else will follow.  I just need to be consistent.

YWA - Day 1

I have a love-hate relationship with yoga - I hate the actual doing of it but I love the flexibility and strength I gain.  For several years I've heard about the Yoga with Adriene 30 Day Journey that she does every January on her YouTube channel.  I decided that this year will be the year I will take part.  In the intro yesterday she said the hardest part will be showing up and that is so true!  It's 9pm and I just finished the first day's practice!!  I thought about it this morning and then forgot all about it until an hour ago - sheesh!!  But...A for the day for me because I got up and did it!

In the beginning it actually hurt my hips (especially my left one) to sit cross legged on my mat.  I have to admit that got me worried a little bit that I'd be able to make it through.  As usual I had trouble with my hands and wrists while trying to hold the poses like tabletop and downward dog - that part is nothing new at all and I'm hopeful that as I keep with it over this next 30 days things will get better.  I had to drop down to child's pose several times to rest but I'm pleased with what I was able to do tonight.  When we were sitting crossed legged at the end to take our final breaths I noticed that my hip didn't hurt quite as much - yay progress!!!

One thing I really liked about the practice today is that I was able to just do what I could do and not feel pressured because I felt like someone was watching me.  That was always an issue at the gym even though my logical brain knows that everyone else is busy paying attention to their own stuff and not my stuff.  That old self-conscious monster lurks ever present in my head regardless of my beating it with the logical stick.  LOL!  Overall I'm very happy with my practice today and look forward to what tomorrow brings.

Back on a DietBet!

Well, who do we have here?!?!  Long time no see!!!  Well...last month I hit within 5# of my highest ever weight and we just can't have that.  So...I am back in a DietBet and working hard.  I am still following a Keto way of life and love how it makes me feel.  I have been going overboard on the calories though so I am dialing that back.  I have moved to doing One Meal A Day (OMAD) and have been doing that for several weeks now.  I'm really liking it!  I have been spending my lunch break walking my neighborhood instead of sitting here wishing I could eat.  I am usually eating my dinner around 4-5pm and then not snacking at all.  I've been doing better about my water - I have my decaf coffee first thing in the morning and then before I allow myself a 2nd cup I have to drink my Tervis full of water.  Then after my 2nd cup it is usually time for my walk.  After my walk I drink another Tervis and then I can have an iced coffee.  With dinner I try to drink another Tervis but sometimes I treat myself with a Fresca.  I also just picked up some decaf cold brew tea bags so I plan to start incorporating that during my day as well.  I've lost 10.2# during the first month of the DB but most of that occurred during the first two weeks and it was a combination of reining in my eating, drinking water, and weighing-in in the morning rather than late afternoon like I did when I first signed up for the DB.  This next month will be a little trickier and I will have to be diligent with my day to day discipline.  I know I can do this!!!